Did I Say That?

Look at you sitting up in church today looking spectacular. If no one else tells you that you look good, I will. Your make-up is flawless and your edges are laid down tight enough to cut somebody. Speaking of cut, the barber shop was packed yesterday with the fellas getting a fresh one. So there you are in all of your splendor looking and acting so prim and proper as you greet everyone with a warm smile and pleasant conversation. No one would ever suspect how we talk to people outside of the church. 

If someone recorded the things we say to people and played them back next Sunday, how prim and proper would we look then? The Bible warns us about our mouths: “Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God” (James3:9). The tongue can’t be tamed (James3:8) but we can do a better job of controlling how we talk to one another because our words really do affect people. 

We can’t take every slight against us as if someone just slapped our momma. Yes, you can be absolutely right that someone did you wrong but we aren’t always angels ourselves. Cut the person some slack and go to them in a constructive manner. But you can’t do that until you let your anger subside. You may think you’re speaking with good intentions, but when you engage someone with anger or resentment in your heart you aren’t really trying to solve the problem. You’re trying to tear them down. “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement...”(Eph 4:29).

We also have to realize that people make honest mistakes. If a friend forgot to invite you to a party, it doesn’t mean they were trying to be mean. It could be they really forgot. So instead of getting them straight, how about letting them know in a nice way that your feelings were hurt. But we’ll take sly cheap shots or let anger drive our conversation rather than show our vulnerabilities. Far too often we say things that in our mind were said with roses, but to the person on the receiving end our words are more like thorns.  

Think about it.