Lost
I'm lost. I admit it. I'm like a little boy in the mall looking for his mother– or in my case, my father. I've slowly drifted back into the world and away from God. How can I tell? It's shameful for me to say but I spend more time on work, on YouTube– you name it– than I spend reading my Bible.
I've tried to fool myself but the evidence hit me square in the face when I had to make myself go to church. You know the feeling you have on the last night of vacation and you have to go to work the next day? That's exactly how I felt about church. I'd go but I wasn't eager. I'd lost my passion, my joy, my way.
Being lost is a gradual thing. It's as subtle as hair turning gray. It started when I... when I... I really can't say when, but I got to the point that I was on iTunes far more than I tuned into my Bible. Honestly, there were times if you wanted to talk about God I didn't want to talk to you. We could discuss the news or sports or gossip–anything but the Bible. I'd say my prayers every morning but it was no longer the first thing I did.
To everyone else, I was the same as always. You can be a good person doing and saying the right things but as Jesus warned "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father...” (Matt 7:21 ESV).
I'm still that little boy looking for my Father. I pray he gives me the time to find him.
I've tried to fool myself but the evidence hit me square in the face when I had to make myself go to church. You know the feeling you have on the last night of vacation and you have to go to work the next day? That's exactly how I felt about church. I'd go but I wasn't eager. I'd lost my passion, my joy, my way.
Being lost is a gradual thing. It's as subtle as hair turning gray. It started when I... when I... I really can't say when, but I got to the point that I was on iTunes far more than I tuned into my Bible. Honestly, there were times if you wanted to talk about God I didn't want to talk to you. We could discuss the news or sports or gossip–anything but the Bible. I'd say my prayers every morning but it was no longer the first thing I did.
To everyone else, I was the same as always. You can be a good person doing and saying the right things but as Jesus warned "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father...” (Matt 7:21 ESV).
I'm still that little boy looking for my Father. I pray he gives me the time to find him.
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